The beginning of 2014…..where do I even start? All I can say is the first month of this new year which is supposed to be the month of change or the month to start off a good year. Well for me, it has been the exact opposite. Yes, there has been change but not the kind of change I was looking for or really expecting. Now, this post is extremely different from the other post I have up but I just had to get it all out.
My “New Year” started out great by spending time with friends remembering the triumphs of the past year and celebrating the many new beginnings we were about to embark on with open arms. Everything seemed to be going the way one would expect the start of a new year to go that was until I got a call from my doctor.
I had found out on a few days after the start of 2014 that I had an abnormal lump which needed to be biopsied. This happens to be something a twenty-two year old never even thinks about hearing from their doctor. But there I was in total shock and if I am being honest I did not hear the next few words coming through to me on the other end of the line. After getting all the details of the next steps we needed to take I hung up the phone and just sat in my living room chair.
It took a few moments for what I was just told to sink in and then a little bit of panic set in as I retold what the doctor had said to my mother. Now, I spent the next few days leading up to my next appointment by basically ignoring it all together or chalking it up to be something minor or nothing at all.
The actual day of my appointment I was far from the previous feeling of not worrying. My worry mode was on full blast. The whole appointment itself seemed so surreal to me. Once again I was sitting there thinking how I never thought this would be happening to me. Not at the age I am. At twenty-two I still felt a little invincible and care free. I no longer feel that way.
After the biopsy was complete and the appointment ending with another talk about what they had done, what to expect for the next few days, when I should know the results, and the possibilities of what could happen next. Once again I sat in a chair shocked at what I was hearing. I wasn’t hearing this could be nothing but instead I was hearing as long as well stay on top of things with regular check ups we can prevent you from getting cancer.
Yep, the big C word as some would like to call it. I have an increased possibility of getting cancer in general and a likelihood if I decide to not go to check ups. I left the appointment feeling worried but honestly a little of relief because now I knew I could prevent it. I had something I could do and I am going to do it.
I still have not heard back about the results of the biopsy telling me whether or not we got all of the lump or if more will have to be done. I would be lying if I said I was not worried or stressing out about the call or the situation in general because honestly I am extremely worried. But even though I am worried I am trying to stay positive.
I know I have a way of preventing the disease and I plan to never get it. I also know I have the opportunity to stay ahead of it which a lot of people do not get. I cannot sit here and say I have it the worst because I do not. I give so much love and awe to those who are currently fighting for their lives. It just makes you realize how precious life can be.